Thursday, April 10, 2008
Life
Hello to all. I know it has been quite some time since I have posted. I am sorry. I hope that this finds everyone well. After what seemed to be an endless fight, I am finally feeling better. As you have read in my mom's post, sickness has filled my days and nights. I just couldn't seem to shake the awful feeling of weakness, tiredness, and exhaustion. I spent many nights in tears because I just didn't feel like I had the strength to go on, to keep fighting. I screamed at God. I was so angry about the relapse and all I could think was how unfair all of this was. One thing that God showed me through all of that was that I was right. I didn't have the strength to do this. To fight this thing on my own. I HAD to rely on Him and Him alone. He showed me that this trial is meant for more than my own spiritual growth but to minister to others and support others through their trials. I felt so unworthy and unprepared for such a task. I cried and cried...and then it was as if someone had wrapped their arms around me. I literally felt a comfort beyond any physical thing. It was a feeling of love and support. God lifted me up. He lifted my head and held me. I can't describe how amazing it felt. I just knew He would pull me out and through. I have been holding on to that. That I know is truth. My spirits are higher, but my blood counts are not. Please continue to pray for physical strength. I need it now more than ever. God bless. I love you all.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
The Mange
Joshua reporting:
Brianne doesn't have mange, but she's starting to lose her hair again and it's coming out in patches, making her look like she has mange.
She's doing a lot better and they're talking about letting her out on Wednesday or Thursday and she'd only have to come back to the clinic every day to receive the remaining antibiotic treatments. She'll still have to stay in Atlanta and will be in the hope lodge. She's especially doing well with her spirit and demeanor which have which have both greatly improved.
We'll let you know if they let her out.
Brianne doesn't have mange, but she's starting to lose her hair again and it's coming out in patches, making her look like she has mange.
She's doing a lot better and they're talking about letting her out on Wednesday or Thursday and she'd only have to come back to the clinic every day to receive the remaining antibiotic treatments. She'll still have to stay in Atlanta and will be in the hope lodge. She's especially doing well with her spirit and demeanor which have which have both greatly improved.
We'll let you know if they let her out.
Friday, April 4, 2008
The One where we are Back in the Hospital
Post by Bri's Mom, Brenda
Last Thursday was a VERY LONG DAY. Bri started her day at 9 am in the clinic for blood, platelets, fluids, potassium and some antibiotics as she began running a temperature. We were the last ones to leave the clinic at 7:45 pm. She was sleep deprived and achy all over. By the time we got to the Lodge she was ready to fall in the bed and sleep. Just as she got snuggled in her bed I took her temperature, it was 102.6. We took it four times and I checked my temp to be sure the thermometer worked. It worked. We both knew what it meant, a call to the doctor and admission to the hospital. Bri was discouraged, disheartened, and a little scared. We did get some good news and were very fortunate to get the last bed on 7E at 10:00 that evening. Thankfully we were able to go thru the ER to the room where she spent the rest of the evening getting poked, plugged, pumped and prodded. She got everything infused in her except sleep.
Her temp finally broke Saturday morning. We found out she had a bacterial infection in her blood and a strep infection. She has been getting more blood and platelets every other day. Last night she had another prolonged nosebleed that discouraged her meaning her platelets keep dropping. She has had diarrhea for two weeks now resulting in dehydration. Last week they ordered home health to give her daily infusions of fluids at the Lodge to keep her hydrated. She has had no appetite and lost 23 lbs in ten days. Additionally, she has open sores in her mouth. Thankfully, they have something to give her for every thing she is going thru. But the side effects of all the meds keep her nauseated. We also found out she will have to be in hospital for awhile as she will need 14 days of iv vancomyician
So, as you can see Bri gets down. We do feel the prayers of friends and family and we cannot say thank you enough. We know we have to just get through and hold on to God through it all. We do trust God and are learning more about accessing His presence through the pain. It is just VERY hard at times and thats all there is to it. We can take a natural pain reliever such as Tylenol or oxycodone for physical ailments (and that she does) but we have to just experience the pain of what we were predestined to go through. I don't like it but, I pray for healing and cry out to God for my Beez. At times I am comforted by Gods presence, words of truth, prayer, the kindness of others through calls, prayers, cards, and visits. But sometimes we just simply have to hurt. Knowing we are loved and cared for by others is often enough to help us through. We know you are out there praying for us and loving us. Thank You.
Will give another update in a few days.
Last Thursday was a VERY LONG DAY. Bri started her day at 9 am in the clinic for blood, platelets, fluids, potassium and some antibiotics as she began running a temperature. We were the last ones to leave the clinic at 7:45 pm. She was sleep deprived and achy all over. By the time we got to the Lodge she was ready to fall in the bed and sleep. Just as she got snuggled in her bed I took her temperature, it was 102.6. We took it four times and I checked my temp to be sure the thermometer worked. It worked. We both knew what it meant, a call to the doctor and admission to the hospital. Bri was discouraged, disheartened, and a little scared. We did get some good news and were very fortunate to get the last bed on 7E at 10:00 that evening. Thankfully we were able to go thru the ER to the room where she spent the rest of the evening getting poked, plugged, pumped and prodded. She got everything infused in her except sleep.
Her temp finally broke Saturday morning. We found out she had a bacterial infection in her blood and a strep infection. She has been getting more blood and platelets every other day. Last night she had another prolonged nosebleed that discouraged her meaning her platelets keep dropping. She has had diarrhea for two weeks now resulting in dehydration. Last week they ordered home health to give her daily infusions of fluids at the Lodge to keep her hydrated. She has had no appetite and lost 23 lbs in ten days. Additionally, she has open sores in her mouth. Thankfully, they have something to give her for every thing she is going thru. But the side effects of all the meds keep her nauseated. We also found out she will have to be in hospital for awhile as she will need 14 days of iv vancomyician
So, as you can see Bri gets down. We do feel the prayers of friends and family and we cannot say thank you enough. We know we have to just get through and hold on to God through it all. We do trust God and are learning more about accessing His presence through the pain. It is just VERY hard at times and thats all there is to it. We can take a natural pain reliever such as Tylenol or oxycodone for physical ailments (and that she does) but we have to just experience the pain of what we were predestined to go through. I don't like it but, I pray for healing and cry out to God for my Beez. At times I am comforted by Gods presence, words of truth, prayer, the kindness of others through calls, prayers, cards, and visits. But sometimes we just simply have to hurt. Knowing we are loved and cared for by others is often enough to help us through. We know you are out there praying for us and loving us. Thank You.
Will give another update in a few days.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Update
Brianne is getting better today and was a bit cheerful and energetic today. She was feeling better until this evening and crashed, but it's still nice to see some improvement in energy and disposition.
She started getting fluids today from the home health nurse and that went well without any problems. Otherwise, it was a pretty uneventful day.
Joshua
She started getting fluids today from the home health nurse and that went well without any problems. Otherwise, it was a pretty uneventful day.
Joshua
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Schedule:
Bri goes to the clinic every other day for labs, Dr., Infusion, tx. She went today, got more platelets, iv fluids and they are ordering home health to give her iv fluids at the lodge to help with the dehydration. She has lost 24 lbs. in 10 days. As they told us they will be watching her closely.
Visits:
Any day she is not at the Clinic which this upcoming week is Wed 2, Fri 4., Sun 6., Tues. 8, Thurs. 10, Sat. 12. We have lots of other appts. coming up but have not gotten those yet. If you would like to come see the Bri. Just call one of us to see how it works out. Brenda 229-506-3221 and Joshua 478-737-4178. Bri would love visitors, just making sure she is well enough. Visits at this time should be short.
Bri goes to the clinic every other day for labs, Dr., Infusion, tx. She went today, got more platelets, iv fluids and they are ordering home health to give her iv fluids at the lodge to help with the dehydration. She has lost 24 lbs. in 10 days. As they told us they will be watching her closely.
Visits:
Any day she is not at the Clinic which this upcoming week is Wed 2, Fri 4., Sun 6., Tues. 8, Thurs. 10, Sat. 12. We have lots of other appts. coming up but have not gotten those yet. If you would like to come see the Bri. Just call one of us to see how it works out. Brenda 229-506-3221 and Joshua 478-737-4178. Bri would love visitors, just making sure she is well enough. Visits at this time should be short.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
The Hope Lodge
(Joshua Reporting):
Well, Brianne got out on Wednesday and has spent the last few days here at the Hope Lodge. The Hope Lodge is an amazing facility set up by the American Cancer Society and is totally free with a doctor's order. It has 34 units with 2 beds in each unit (1 for the patient and 1 for the caregiver), a large spacious kitchen and common areas, is close to Emory's campus, is rather secluded, and has a beautiful view of the nearby woods - you'd never think you're in the middle of Atlanta. When I first came up here on Thursday, I was overwhelmed by the place - it's an amazing blessing. The staff here is great and the other patients are welcoming, friendly, and great for conversation.
Update on physical health. Brianne's leukemia is back and right now she is recovering from the chemo she got last week. She's been exhausted all weekend and sickly. She'll get up for a few minutes to walk downstairs or walk around and before long she is too tired or has to go the bathroom. She's barely eaten and is mostly only drinking water and gatorade. This morning, we spent 6 hours at the clinic getting 2 bags of blood, fluids, potassium, and platelets. She perked up for a little bit after getting fluids, but was tired again within an hour or two.
Emotional/mental/spiritual health. As you know and can tell from her last post, this entire ordeal has been very trying and the last two weeks have been really disappointing as the transplant date was pushed back again and Brianne hated having to have chemo AGAIN.
Keep her in your prayers for physical strength as the side effects from the chemo can be devastating. Also pray that she would feel God's love and presence through this hard time (we know it's there, it's just sometimes hard to feel/see). This morning she met Ann Something from Smyrna who was diagnosed with ALL leukemia last week and the two of them had a really good talk about God, faith, and illness - it's a wonderful thing to see the people God puts in our lives especially when we really need them. Those wonderful people include all of y'all out there in computer land - she really appreciates your prayers, letters, comments et al. Here's her address for the Hope Lodge:
Brianne Tsavatewa Room 212
1552 Shoup Court
Decatur GA 30033
Joshua signing off. - (Also - you can click on the title "Hope Lodge" and it'll take you to the Decatur Hope Lodge website)
Well, Brianne got out on Wednesday and has spent the last few days here at the Hope Lodge. The Hope Lodge is an amazing facility set up by the American Cancer Society and is totally free with a doctor's order. It has 34 units with 2 beds in each unit (1 for the patient and 1 for the caregiver), a large spacious kitchen and common areas, is close to Emory's campus, is rather secluded, and has a beautiful view of the nearby woods - you'd never think you're in the middle of Atlanta. When I first came up here on Thursday, I was overwhelmed by the place - it's an amazing blessing. The staff here is great and the other patients are welcoming, friendly, and great for conversation.
Update on physical health. Brianne's leukemia is back and right now she is recovering from the chemo she got last week. She's been exhausted all weekend and sickly. She'll get up for a few minutes to walk downstairs or walk around and before long she is too tired or has to go the bathroom. She's barely eaten and is mostly only drinking water and gatorade. This morning, we spent 6 hours at the clinic getting 2 bags of blood, fluids, potassium, and platelets. She perked up for a little bit after getting fluids, but was tired again within an hour or two.
Emotional/mental/spiritual health. As you know and can tell from her last post, this entire ordeal has been very trying and the last two weeks have been really disappointing as the transplant date was pushed back again and Brianne hated having to have chemo AGAIN.
Keep her in your prayers for physical strength as the side effects from the chemo can be devastating. Also pray that she would feel God's love and presence through this hard time (we know it's there, it's just sometimes hard to feel/see). This morning she met Ann Something from Smyrna who was diagnosed with ALL leukemia last week and the two of them had a really good talk about God, faith, and illness - it's a wonderful thing to see the people God puts in our lives especially when we really need them. Those wonderful people include all of y'all out there in computer land - she really appreciates your prayers, letters, comments et al. Here's her address for the Hope Lodge:
Brianne Tsavatewa Room 212
1552 Shoup Court
Decatur GA 30033
Joshua signing off. - (Also - you can click on the title "Hope Lodge" and it'll take you to the Decatur Hope Lodge website)
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Unsettled
I'm so unsettled. My mind, my body, and my emotions. I just need something solid to hold on to. I turn to God and pray, but there is a frustration because I can't see Him. I can't physically be held by Him. I'm so angry and I just want this to be over. Oh, God I cry out to you. Hold your child. Please Lord wrap me in your arms. Give me the strength I need to carry on. It seems too hard to keep pressing on. It feels so overwhelming. Heal me Father God. I need You more than anything in this world.
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